I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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