i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
