he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
