What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
