Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize