dude i'm inner monologue high
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
