hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
splinters make it hard to masturbate
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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