Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
