drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
