he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
