ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
