the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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