the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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