the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
