You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They took my balls.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
