i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
