Screwed.edu
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
