So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
