Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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