I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
