I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
