I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
