I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
