I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
