Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
