Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
