So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
