Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize