when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
