margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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