So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
