I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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