Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize