Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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