Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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