i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
