Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize