I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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