Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
