Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
