That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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