One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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