Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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