I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
