so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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