I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
