careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
