But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
