Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
