I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Come share oat with me in your robe
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
