you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize