he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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