fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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