dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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