I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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