SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize