we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
