All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
