What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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