wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
