The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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