i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
