"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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