do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
