Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
