You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
