C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
