i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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