Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
