Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
