I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Boobs are out for the taking
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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