you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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