You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
