As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
