I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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