I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
