used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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