I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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