I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We had sex on a dog bed..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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