WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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