As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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