UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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