I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
