508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
